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Watching romantic themes has different implications for single women and men.
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Posted October 27, 2021 Reviewed by Davia Sills
Key points
- Romantic plots that idealize coupling and marriage are ubiquitous in contemporary movies and TV shows.
- Watching romances on-screen tends to reinforce those who are already involved in a committed relationship.
- Single women (though not single men) may experience greater anxiety about being single after watching film and TV romances.
Contemporary television, movies, and streaming content are saturated with what I call “matrimania,” the over-the-top valuing and celebrating of weddings, marriage, and romantic coupling. Characters are marched through the predictable plotlines of becoming interested in some romantic prospect, facing obstacles, and then ending up committed to each other or married. Some individual episodes of TV shows feature multiple weddings as if matrimania is some drug to which viewers are becoming habituated and need ever stronger doses to get the same reaction.
What should we make of all those romantic themes and plotlines?
Do they leave viewers feeling good about themselves? Are they just inconsequential fluff? Or are they perpetuating singlism (the stereotyping and stigmatizing of single people) and making viewers feel afraid of being single?
I wish I could tell you that the definitive study has been done to answer those questions. It might involve randomly assigning some people to watch lots of those kinds of matrimaniacal shows over long periods of time, while others don’t watch anything romantic but watch other shows instead. Then viewers would report on how they are feeling about themselves, how they would feel about being single, and anything else of interest.
Of course, that sort of study would be somewhere between difficult and impossible to do. Instead, we have another kind of study that provides evidence that is more suggestive than conclusive. Participants report on their own viewing experiences and their romantic relationship status and describe their feelings about being or becoming single.
The study
Using announcements on social media, Elisabeth Timmermans and Lennert Coenen of Belgium and Jan Van den Bulck of the U.S. recruited 821 young adults (between 18 and 25 years old) to complete a standardized questionnaire that was posted online. Their findings were reported in “The Bridget Jones Effect” in the journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture.
How much romantic content were participants watching?
Participants indicated the frequency with which they watched four categories of romantic shows, and they were given examples of the kinds of shows that would qualify.
1. Romantic comedy series (How I Met Your Mother, Friends, New Girl, etc.)
2. Romantic drama series (Sex and the City, Gossip Girl, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, etc.)
3. Romantic comedy films
4. Romantic drama films
Participants also indicated how often they watched TV or streaming content of any nature, not just shows with romantic themes. I don’t know why the authors did not ask participants how often they watched reality dating shows, such as The Bachelor.
Assessing participants’ fear of being single
Participants indicated their gender, sexual orientation (93 percent were heterosexual), and whether they were in a committed romantic relationship (61 percent were). They also answered questions assessing other characteristics, such as their neuroticism and their need to belong. (The researchers took those kinds of factors into account in the analyses they conducted.)
Most relevant were questions measuring their fear of being single. People who have that fear agree with statements such as “If I end up alone in life, I will probably feel like there is something wrong with me,” and “I feel anxious when I think about being single forever.”
Did people who watched more romantic shows feel more afraid of being single?
When Timmermans and her colleagues averaged across all the people in their study, including women and men, and single and coupled people, they found no significant relationship at all between watching more romantic TV shows or movies and feeling afraid of being single.
When they looked separately at four groups—single women, single men, coupled women, and coupled men—they found a statistically meaningful link for only one of those groups, the single women. The more romantic content the single women had viewed, the more fearful they said they were about being single.
Although the researchers did not analyze the content of the shows that the participants watched, their review of other studies uncovered what you would expect. Most often, in the shows with romantic content, predictable themes such as “love conquers all” and couples living “happily ever after” dominate. Characters who are single, particularly if they are women, are often portrayed as anxious, unhappy, incomplete, and unfulfilled.
Single women who watched more of those matrimaniacal shows were especially likely to think that being single would mean that there was something wrong with them and to fear that fate. The results were not statistically meaningful for the other three groups. Interestingly (though in only a suggestive way), the psychological dynamics worked in just the opposite direction for the single men. The more romantic content they saw, the more unafraid of being single they tended to feel.
Remember that the results are just correlations: Single women who watch more romantic content are more likely to feel fearful about being single. We can’t say for sure that watching romantic TV shows and movies caused the single women to fear being single. It is also possible, for example, that single women who are fearful about being single (but not single men) are more likely to be drawn to romantic shows.
Either way, this is a dynamic that does not seem innocuous. Romantic themes are ubiquitous. They show up even in shows that should have little to do with romance, such as TV series or movies about cops or firefighters or attorneys. Even televised sporting events can get interrupted with kiss cams and proposals.
This relentless messaging about the supposed wonders of romantic coupling is making it harder for people to live happily single. Single people who want to be coupled are constantly reminded of what they are supposedly missing. (I say “supposedly” because the “happily ever after” theme is more myth than reality.) People such as the single at heart, who live their best lives by being single, are likely to endure an unnecessarily long process of doubting themselves. They just aren’t seeing anyone like them on the screen. Meanwhile, coupled people get to watch romantic content and feel smug. None of this is OK.
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Marriage to a Russian or Ukrainian Woman
Many men wonder if Russian women for marriage is possible because many of them do not know any Russian ladies. The truth is that there are a number of Russian women for marriage in the United States and the Internet provides a great way to find them. When you use your favorite search engine to find Russian brides, you will see pages of matches. Some of these matches are going to be marriages that have already taken place, while others are simply friendship connections or people just passing by. When you have some Russian brides in the US, you need to learn how to approach them and what you should not do if you want a Russian bride.
How to meet Ukrainian girls?
You should make sure that you do not take care of her too much. Russian women often have a difficult time dealing with Western men, especially because they are used to being treated as objects of sexual desire. If you try to be too nice to a Russian woman, she will simply look down on you and treat you like dirt.
One reason that so many people marry Russian women is because they want to experience a different culture. Many people want to live in a society where they are the only minority, where they are the ones who do not follow traditional roles. To many people, this is something very appealing in Ukrainian brides.
You have to remember that a Russian woman married to a man from another country is going to take much more care of you than a typical American wife would. If you want to make her happy and get the best results possible, you need to act like a prince.
Find married men who want relationships
Married women dating sites are perfect places to find married men who want relationships with single women. Single men are not necessarily looking for committed relationships. They may just be looking for a friend or a companion to share life with and go on dates with. Married women looking for male companionship can use these sites to find a suitable single man who shares their interests and values.
Single women looking for a male friend usually join online dating sites. There are various reasons for doing so. Some women work full time jobs and thus cannot dedicate much time to socializing. Others may have been rejected by men in the past who have not shown any interest in dating other women. Yet others may not be too sure about the quality and type of men they would encounter on such sites. To make sure that all is safe, the best option is to go through information provided on single women looking for married men dating sites.
The content of the sites should be analyzed before joining. It should be clear what the members can expect from the website. The site can give advice on how to approach married men and how to make the most of the experience. Members can interact with each other to find out whether the dating site seeking men is really good enough for them. They can also post their views on how well the site is serving its members.
If the member already has a good idea about the types of men whom he is looking for, he can proceed to the next step. He should get in touch with single women seeking men and inquire about their relationship rules and privacy policy. This will help avoid future interactions if the initial meeting fails. The online dating site can also provide useful tips to married women seeking men. These include the type of clothes to wear and when to look sexy.
Before any online dating transaction is completed, it is advised that the single women looking for male friends should not reveal their true identity. This is because fake identities are easily detected. Also, the men should ensure that the female members of the website are interested in serious relationships. This will increase the chances of being successful. The online dating site can also provide useful tips and advice on what type of female members would be best suited for married men.
Single women seeking married men
Single women seeking married men should avoid coming up directly on the internet sites. The best way to achieve this is to gradually build a relationship with a married man first. The woman can then see married men who are real and trustworthy. Once this is achieved, she can then look for potential relationships on the internet. Single women can join these websites anonymously and use various techniques to keep the male member of the site interested.
Single · Female · Interested In Males Free Dating Websites
Single women seeking married men can visit the various dating sites available and try out various options. She should make her profile interesting enough so that other single women will like to know more about her. This will increase her chances of finding a suitable partner. Once she has a few suitable partners, she can then look for a life long partner who will provide her with companionship and will be a responsible citizen.